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Def Gem

Def Gem

23 y/o globetrotter, music enthusiast, food lover, self-love cheerleader. Next Stop: New York City

Recent Posts

Self Love, Day 7/21

You are human. You make mistakes. Your own forgiveness is more important than anyone else forgiving you. No one is more worthy of your forgiveness than you.


I’ve had a lot of great memories this past year – from experiencing Electric Daisy Carnival in Las Vegas to seeing Kanye West perform to dancing with Anderson .Paak. But my favorite thus far would have to be sitting in an Uber van belching Fantasy Remix […]

Self Love, Day 6/21

We can’t help what happens to us or how we’re feeling, but we play a pivotal role in our growth. You are strong! You are great! You are beautiful! Now let’s move forward!

Self Love, Day 5/21

Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself. Enjoy yourself.

Self Love, Day 4/21

It’s not needy, annoying, or a burden to ask for help with certain things, especially if it’s something that’s important to your healthy well-being. People that love you will want nothing but health and positivity in your life. So ask for help if you need […]

Deep Run Roadhouse – RVA

Deep Run Roadhouse is, as they describe themselves, “a Tex-Mex, BBQ and comfort food” joint located right on the VCU campus on Laurel and Broad Street. I’ve passed this place quite a few times and just recently decided to try out their food. My friend said […]

Self Love, Day 3/21

Your self-worth has nothing to do with the person that didn’t call you back for a second date. Your self-worth has nothing to do with your friends that forgot to hit you up to hang out. Your self-worth has nothing to do with the people […]

Be yourself.

If you’re like me – analytical, detailed, observant, and the like – then I’m sure you are your biggest critic, too. I’m currently reading “Eat, Pray, Love.” Now, I highly recommend this book, especially since you’re reading my self growth and self love posts. Each […]

Say Something

  My favorite thing that I have learned recently is, “You cannot be mad or upset with someone, if you don’t communicate with them.”   If you say what you really want, there’s no room for assuming. There’s no room for anger or being upset. And there’s […]

Self Love, Day 2/21

I know some days suck and you don’t want to get out of bed. But taking care of yourself and your bodily needs is the first step in self love. All you need to do is get out of bed. That’s all you need to […]

The Fancy Biscuit – RVA

It was a perfect Saturday morning. Cold rain knocking on my window. Grey skies shunning us from the sun. My boyfriend sleeping in, while I lay in bed starving to death. Okay, maybe I’m over-exaggerating – it wasn’t that cold out. But yes, I was starving […]

Self Love, Day 1/21

My friend, Chris, inspired me to do this with his “21 days of being thankful challenge.” It’s been said that it takes 21 days to create a habit. So here’s to 21 days of self love! *Side note: These lessons of self love will be […]

Self Growth

Be yourself.

If you’re like me – analytical, detailed, observant, and the like – then I’m sure you are your biggest critic, too.

I’m currently reading “Eat, Pray, Love.” Now, I highly recommend this book, especially since you’re reading my self growth and self love posts. Each chapter is an eye-opening lesson told from her personal experiences. This lesson I’m about to share with you is by far is my favorite lesson, although I’m only halfway through the book. But before I tell you her words of wisdom, here’s some background information:

  1. Elizabeth is currently at an ashram in India. Every person at the ashram does volunteer work for their stay there; she cleans the temple floors.
  2. She’s a social butterfly, and finds that her social calendar is interfering with her becoming closer to God. So she takes an oath of silence.
  3. That exact day that she decides to take an oath of silence, she gets promoted from cleaning the temple floors to becoming a hostess/greeter for new attendees.

She thought it was a joke God was trying to play on her, but she knows God’s intentions are always well and purposeful. Then she remembers a saying that her Guru has stated multiple times,

“God dwells within you, as you.”

(SN: I don’t have a religious affiliation. God represents some higher power, whatever you wish to call your higher power. A lot of my friends and family believe in God, and so I will use God or higher power. I do believe in some higher power, I just don’t know what I call him/her.)

We are all intentionally made – even those qualities about us that annoy us or make us short of perfect. Elizabeth Gilbert suggests not changing your “flaws,” but honing your characteristics/skills to your advantage. So in “Eat, Pray, Love” she uses her ability to socialize for a greater purpose: to make new members of the ashram feel comfortable in their new temporary residence.

I also would like to think everything has pros and cons to it – or like a yin-yang, there’s a balance to everything. As much as we may be irritated with our “flaws,” it may serve another purpose. For example, let’s go back to what I said about being our own biggest critic. I’m constantly critiquing myself, however these critiques have allowed me to grow exponentially. I’m not the same person I was even a month ago. I’m constantly learning, I’m constantly trying to better myself, and I’m constantly adapting. Like Elizabeth Gilbert said, it’s a matter of honing your skills.

God wants you to love yourself in the image that he so purposefully created you to be. You are a piece of him. You represent him. God makes no mistakes, my dear. Everything serves a greater purpose. It’s time for you to start looking at that greater purpose.


Now for the second quote, that I love so much.

“People will hate you for the exact same reasons people love you.”

This struck a cord with me. I’m constantly criticizing myself. But this quote is absolutely right; how did this not reach me before?

I’d like to think I’m a pretty outgoing person. I can be a little over the top sometimes – obnoxious is how I like to describe it. I make a lot of friends this way, surprisingly. But I’m sure people may find me unpleasant in the same way I find some other outgoing people annoying and extra. Isn’t that funny? I dislike people for the same qualities I share with them. I dislike people for the same exact reasons other people adore them.

We’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s alright. We cannot please the whole world while trying to maintain sanity and happiness.

Be yourself –

the right people will love you for all that you are plus more.